First of all, I’m so sorry for waking you up at 11 PM. I had no idea two teenagers would be completely asleep at that time.
I’m also so sorry for scaring you at 7 AM when you spoke to each other in Russian pointing at my stuff. I know I look really scary in the morning, like a small, agitated child swimming in tie-dye. I’m sorry for going “that is my stuff!” even though I know that you knew that too.
I’m also so sorry for steaming up the bathroom so much you couldn’t see, that was annoying, I would’ve been annoyed with me too.
Roommate #1, who slept in the rightmost bed, why didn’t you say hi back? I mean, I’m sleeping in the same room … Your book was cool, though, I wonder what you study (if you’re in school), and how a book about Elon Musk fits into your life.
I wonder what you guys are both there for, especially with how you both made your beds and slept at 10 PM, and left the room at exactly 8 AM both mornings. I wonder what you think of me! I wonder if you are confused by a brown American, wonder where I am from, if you were as protective of your stuff as I was of mine. I don’t think you were, though, you both left your things out, while I slept with my electronics under my pillow.
Roommate #2, who slept in the leftmost bed, I wish I had the one outlet for maybe a moment. In fact, I ran through my three battery packs because I had nowhere else to charge my things. Thanks for not snoring though. Maybe you would have said hi.
France is not my country, no. Russia isn’t either, and honestly my only sense of nationality comes from the U.S., despite being a daughter of Indian immigrants, going to school in the U.S., studying abroad in Italy, traveling da soli in France. But the second night, I trusted you both. I left my laptop out, my iPhone on the table. I left my backpack on the table, although I did wake up every time you walked by. I wish I could pry and ask how you two knew each other, what you thought about the hostel, why you slept in two beds at the opposite ends of the room, leaving me in the middle.
I had never stayed in a hostel before. I had never flown by myself before. I’ve only flown international one other time – Coming to Florence. This was my first real journey, fully trusting myself to get from point A to B, despite my complete and utter lack of a sense of direction. Putting that much trust in myself, and then you two, was new to navigate. Going to Paris, alone, with a backpack in a hostel over a hill in the middle of a small residential neighborhood with the best bread I’ve put in my body ever before, was all new. And then you two, you made me trust even the stranger next to me.
My cousin, when he handed over his expensive camera to some man that offered to take a photo of us, always said to trust people until they break your trust. I’ve come back to that quote time and time again, lost in my memory of trinkets. I mean, by the time people break your trust, it might already be too late, but hey. I would want someone to trust me until I break their trust, right?